In defence of school bullies


I was sitting around smoking weed with some of my social worker friends over the weekend when they started talking about bullies in schools.
Turns out that nearly 15% of children are bullies and more than half of those have been (or currently are) being bullied - saying all that smart stuff the finest psychology books have to offer on a topic like “bullying can lead to serious academic, social, emotional and legal problems”; how they plan to urge fellow colleagues to inform parents of this growing epidemic...
According to my friends, one out of every 10 kids in schools are victims of bullying. They wish to push for a national campaign to “stamp out bullying” arguing that school violence is the result of relentless abuse of schoolchildren at each other’s hands. They said extensive psychoanalysis studies of terrorised children have proven that a significant amount of mental afflictions are suffered through bullying, leading to gnawing psychological problems well into adulthood.
Well, as a victim of years of chronic bullying myself, I say, whomever starts a movement against bullying in our time is whimsical, illogical and stupid. This is because it is against every law of nature; it’s like starting a movement that says ‘babies should walk immediately after birth’! This is why I hate doctors for acting like some kind of supreme beings by giving cranky statistics whenever they see fit.
You see, what followers of science can never understand is the natural order of God’s law. Holy cretins like Pastor Gorroh might agree with me for the first time that nature has a law of survival of the fittest and the predatory human instinct to bully. Same with politicians, especially the ones who have never taken enough beatings in their lifetime like Kazenambo Kazenambo. The raw element of fear is absence in their hearts, they don’t know when to keep their mouth shut and when to talk.
Dumped kids find a good beating; a welcomed enhancement to improve. There is no better way to teach kids to stand up for themselves and what they believe in than by letting them be stomped on in their earlier years of school.
Face it; the bully holds a special purpose in the grand scheme of “growing up”. Hating another for no reason merely because you can kick them around is the right of the brute in society. Learning this at an early age is not only beneficial to our children but also important to fuel other basic urges like vengeance and spite. The bully helps put these unhinged emotions into perspective during a time in our lives when the only aim is to remain invisible, inconsequential and hopefully unharmed.
It’s through bullying that kids discover their strengths and (at best) can use them to their benefit for the rest of the their lives. Discovery is part of youth and to discover verbal, physical and mental abuse from another kid is the right of every child. Taking them away is like taking away the playground. No social worker, preacher or politician should deny them that. And in my experience and extensive study, the only thing that really stops a bully is not a team of doctors or social workers but clean shots to the bridge of the nose or square on the jaw.
Sure, interventions and parental group therapies are welcomed but a carefully placed fist to the temple sets the bully straight and gives a lifetime of hope for the bullied. Trust me, I’ve had plenty of experiences with bullies; kids of childhood’s most precious victory; the ass-whipping of the deserved. Life is about a series of defeating bullies - the sooner we understand it, the better.