By: Justicia Shipena
Chief inspector Cathrine Walaula says gender-based violence (GBV) in the country is driven by men who have an ego and are not honest with themselves.
Walaula was speaking at the first ever Sanlam Men’s Conference, held over the weekend at the A. Shipena Secondary School in Windhoek.
The conference sought to address the country’s alarming rate of GBV cases and saw hundreds of men attend.
Earlier this year, it was reported that common assault is prevalent in the Khomas, Ohangwena, Erongo, //Kharas and Omusati regions. Assault with intent to do grievous bodily harm is common in Khomas, Ohangwena, Oshana, Omusati and Kavango East regions. Rape-Khomas, Ohangwena, Oshikoto, Otjozondjupa and Oshana, while attempted murder is prevalent in Ohangwena, //Kharas, Kavango East, Kavango West and Erongo.
According to her, Namibian men have an ego that has made them not listen when told what the right thing to do is.
“Every time you feel people are taking sides and the government is on the side of the women. When the government set up the GBV division, it is not only for women. It is a law that is put in place for everyone. You must know the law of the country,” she said.
The unconducive circumstances in reporting GBV and violence against children cases led to the establishment of the GBV Protection Units. The unit is a specialised division within the Criminal Investigation Directorate.
She argued that the law does not say men should come to the police station, and if they are not treated well, they must go and fight and violate the people’s rights.
“That does not mean the Namibian police does not listen to men. When you go to the police station with a GBV issue, and the police officer at the station did not listen to you, many are willing to listen, go to the next police officer,” she said.
Walaula said men say that when they go to the police station and report that a woman has harassed them, police officers laugh.
“But is it all the police officers that laugh? It is only one police officer that you are talking to. You don’t speak to all police officers.”
She also said Namibian men don’t tell the truth when proposing to a woman, which drives GBV in the country.
“Men, you are not honest to yourself. The problem with you, you don’t want to realise that every bottle has its top and even if you squeeze the top onto a bottle, it does not belong. There will never be a day it will fit. You propose to, and because of how you came to me, you laid to me, and you came looking nice, and I said yes. Next week I will find out that you don’t have a bedsheet, or your pillow is old, and I cannot even put my hair on your pillow, and I will tell you I don’t want you anymore. Then you get angry, but the way you came to me, you proclaimed yourself like someone else and not who you are.”
Hence she said that is why GBV is high because men are trying to put themselves on a white sheet while they are on a black sheet.
“When a woman finds out that you are at a black sheet, she will drop you, and you feel that this woman has sucked money out of you, but the woman did not suck money out of you. She realised that you are not at her level,” said Walaula.
She added that men must know that some women live at different levels.
MEN ARE FOUND TO BE WEAK
Speaking at the same event, bishop Lukas Katenda said Namibia has to realise that it is a situation in which there is a silent war between men and women in the society.
“This silent war is between three fronts. We have people who think what men can do, women should be able to do, and men should be able to do what women can. There is a hierarchy where some men believe women must keep quiet even in the church, and they must ask their husbands at home even when they have no husband,” he said.
Katenda said it is no longer possible for men in society to know what is to be men, adding that historically men knew what is to be men, but that is no longer the case.
“We live in a high-speed world, where people are told you never know when you are men until a particular stage where you have a specific decision,” he explains.
He said it is society’s honour to ensure that the boy children are taught what it means to be men, intentionally and deliberately.
He added that society is found to be suffering as a result of men not knowing their responsibilities or their identities.
“Men don’t know their responsibilities and are found to be weak, spoiled, pampered, lacking in moral trades, they are without physical and mental strength, and as a result, there are men who fail to take their position as herds of the household, not accepting responsibility and instead women and children are taking the burdens,” said Katenda.
Officially opening the conference, Sanlam Investment chief executive officer Tega Shimmi ya Shimmi said men want to go and enjoy, but there are consequences for how they also enjoy.
“We are not saying don’t enjoy but let us be consequent to our sisters. We show features, send each other pictures, and we are all guilty of that. These are the things we need to be consequent because that woman is someone’s sleaze daughter, potential bride, sister or neighbour.”
Shimmi ya Shimmi said GBV is also taking place in same-sex relationships.
“We also know that there is also same-sex violence as well. We see more and more confidence when we talk about same-sex relationships, and we as a community have a judgement toward these people. We have a responsibility to stand up. We need to respect ourselves and be open and mature enough to unpack these issues,” he said.
He added that women who bring their friends to a date and expect the man to pay is a form of abuse.
“When you take your lady out, sometimes she brings a whole trailer of her friends as well, and you must pay because if you don’t support her here, then you are not happy at home. And that is also a type of abuse, and we laugh about it,” he adds.
Shimmi ya Shimmi urged men to speak openly if they are struggling.
“Where you don’t show venerability and emotions, that must change and stop.”
