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Tirades from the shadows

Mon, 11 May 2015 12:27
by Faith Haushona-Kavamba

The NAMAs just cannot seem to catch a break; from musicians awkwardly dangling from the ceilings, evidently imitating a new breed of wingless angels, to others, presumably intoxicated, feeling the need to give impromptu speeches during the live airing of the biggest musical event of the year.
It seems the every two steps they take forward, they take four more backwards, and it’s a shame Tim Ekandjo always seems to take flack for it, perhaps because he is the face of the awards.
If I was him, I would go back to the village of my forefathers, and have the shaman of the village throw a few bones. It goes without saying that the shaman would find that a distant relative, thrice removed from Ekandjo, is responsible for his misfortune with the awards ceremony. It would most likely have to do with the fact that, as a child, he never laughed when said relative joked with him and thus he was cursed.
If he were to ask a few prophets from the neighbouring village, they might claim that this is a sign of the end of days and the awards ceremony were being used as a tool to communicate this fact.
Whichever avenue he would chose to pursue, it would seem to prove the fact that his beloved awards ceremony can never seem to hit the mark.
The closer they seem to get, the further away they are displaced from their actual goal. Due to the human condition, which is riddled with self-serving biases, it is natural that the organising committee may not see that their ceremony was riddled with flaws.
However, the general consensus, from those at home and those in attendance, is that there were more hitches than the organising committee may care to admit; so much so that Lady May’s infamous goodnight salutations pale in comparison.
I may be speaking out of turn here, but perhaps it is time that the telecommunications giant and national broadcaster NBC handed over the planning of the event to an external party.
Naturally, they would still remain the main sponsors and would receive all the accolades but they wouldn’t actually have a hand in the organising of the event, this could just run on a trial basis for next year.
Or maybe they are not to blame for all the mishaps. Perhaps the fault lies with the ill-behaved guests who attend the ceremony.
In that case, I would recommend that they be conditioned to behave well with electrical dog collars, which give them a mild shock every time they are out of line.
Either way, we receive promises of an epic award ceremony, which turns out to be more a comedy show that would put Kevin Hart to shame.
Even when you want to keep your expectations at the lowest possible level, their delusions of grandeur seem to rub off on us, which makes us genuinely excited until the night in question.
In the spirit of giving credit where it is due, let me say that they have come a long way since the days of the Ramatex building, but they still have a ways to go so it’s perhaps time to call in that shaman.