Male culture shock

There are three things we won’t accept: seeing a man’s butt crack, men who do not know their flip flop (Havaiana or vienna or hivana whatever they are called) size and crazy haircuts, hair colour or body mutilation in this region.
Everyone on the street knows the colour of your underwear and what your butt crack looks like and you wonder why women keep rejecting your proposals? There is no mystery left with you so there is nothing to attract us.
Some fashion trends should be considered as crimes and punishable by law. The other day I was in a taxi and the guy next to me, a black man for that matter, had his eyebrows, arm hair and beard dyed blonde. Now understand that with the presence of 4x4 too much power in this country, men in SADC have started to wear funny things.
Shoes that are too small for them, pants that are too small for them, shorts that show the butt crack and the nut sack but and on top of that they bleach their skin but some of these things are just too much for us to handle.  Why would someone put chemicals that were meant for head hair on their face and arms?
When I looked down to his feet, I saw him in flip flops with socks so I knew he was one of those “fala Portuguese” guys once again I shook my head. I hope this is one of the trends that do not catch on in Namibia because some of these trends are just confusing and will lead you straight into a pit of fire. This guy was so colourful you’d think he was competing with Christmas decoration, because it’s either that or he walked straight out of a mental joint.
Sometimes I say that the race hardest hit by colonialism was the one we share a northern border with. How do you just emerge with no culture after so many years of independence? What kind of nonsense will lead a man to colour his arm hair blonde? Your pants are falling off, your beard is green or pink your arm pits have tattoos and the heels of your feet are exposed to thorns like an idiot.
You are a servant to fashion like that, and you wonder why you cannot find anyone to employ you and take you seriously? It is because some people (some men) show such poor character that Boko Haram will never give those girls back, because BK does not want those girls exposed to such idiocy.
A person should be able to walk onto the street without having their eye privacy violated by so many jockeys and tartan boxers. There is just too much exposed underwear for my liking. Too many grown men who do not know what shoe size they wear because they would be dragging size 11 shoes when they are obviously a size 6 or the other way around.
I hope My Republik can do a charity clean up by guiding some of these lost souls on the rightful path of acceptable SADC fashion trends.