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Other Articles from The Villager

New man in town

Mon, 10 December 2012 15:52
by Jeremiah Ndjoze
Columns

namibia is set to have another president. The new administration will be run from Okombahe or from some impromptu bureau across the world. The Bahamas or Sun City. Man who the hell cares. We run this thing.  
Many are grumbling over HG’s domestic affairs. Who’s gonna be the first lady . . . blah, blah, blah. Who needs a first lady if you can have first ladies? Ja-Nee, I know how you married guys always want to make us single dudes feel inferior. Ja, how you always try to judge us, telling us that your bloated guts aka ‘Boeps’ are a sign of the good life. We know they’re a sign you shouldn’t have married in first place.
No listen, it has been proven by gut sense that chronic and sporadic stress disrupts regular bowel movements contributing to constipation none of which exists at Singleville and Zumaville.
But ‘Omes’ here in Nam is in good hands. I’ll hook him up already. Unlike some of ya’ll who are still caught up in the ‘how could this be’ debate, this state of affairs already found a home in my head.
I was at some liquor joint being a smart arse, name dropping, quoting newspapers and drinking free booze. Ya’ll know . . . shebeen intellectual style. Ask Malcolm X Matundu. He’s that Herero dude who probably after a good watering session went to town with a poster that read “Let’s kill all whites,” for reasons only known to him. He further claimed Al-Qaida links and bomb making skills . . . waarso . . . daai Herero . . . babelaas is what?
Aaaanyway, first thing I’m gonna do a DNA check up to know my genetic makeup for anything any Damara. Ja, I’m a Mbanderu but if my affinity for ‘donkey’ liver is anything to go by, I’ll sure as hell get some affirmative results there.
Then I’ll ‘Bull-push’ my way into the big ‘pimpin’ position on the “Who’s gonna be the first Lady” campaign. Facebook is abuzz I tell you. Imelda Nerongo is vigorously reclaiming her Damara heritage by putting some click sounds in front of her surname and was that Marbeleine Mwashekele I saw without her ring? I’m right in the centre of it all. Taking bribes from the girls while ultimately ensuring that my future remains intact. This will automatically give me an all-access pass into Swagville. Yep, me and HG papa. Barack move over . . . to think that I actually thought that mullato boy will bring swag to the white house . . . nada . . . you can’t take the white mother out of . . . Uhm, the white son.
Which explains why Nam coloureds still refuse to come to Katutura and the hardegat one that dares to try earn himself some street credibility in his hood . . . oops there I go again rambling around tribal issues.
That aside though . . . we’re looking for a first lady with a touch of class and high heels that are not scared of anything. Both our founding grandmothers were cool. They held down their post all well, Tanganyika style but right now we’re gonna take this thing to the youth league lest comrade Ngurare complains.  
Ja, both our grandmothers tried their hands at charity even Meekulu was mentioned as a beneficiary of some go-go pyramid scheme.
Exactly why we want to take this thing to the streets and we’re as sure as hell that HG can handle that. Unorthodox is the name of the game.
We want some capitalist babes up in here. Too bad Martha Namundjebo is married. Same goes for Hilda. See, those business driven women could be perfect mothers of the nation. Ja, or maybe the feisty Karuaihe look alike.
Besides until the early 1990s the perception was that African leaders do not vacate their offices early and those who do still maintain their grip on a slice of their legacy.
Henning Melber and Roger Southhall maintained in their publication Legacies of Power – Leadership Change and Former Presidents in African Politics that ‘authoritarian tendencies within liberation struggle for Namibia’s late independence enabled Sam Nujoma to secure a constitutional amendment allowing him to serve a third term as president and also encouraged him to stay on as a leader of the ruling party after eventually pushing through a personally selected successor’.
The question now is what’s going to happen to tatekulu?