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Knowing what we donÔÇÖt want

Sun, 16 September 2012 19:40
by Emma Tuahepa Kamapoha
Columns

 

It is indeed exciting to come back to my favourite page. I have been sick for while and really could not write as expected of me, my apologies.
During my sick leave I met readers who could not wait for my next issue and well wishers who called made me realise how much this page has impacted on the lives of many people.
I really felt appreciated. Thank you so much for your support.
I cannot give up now. Life is a long lesson in humility.
What is really amazing is when you can actually feel your life going somewhere like it finally figured out how good it gets. It is just a bend, it’s not the end. We’re all like glow sticks; no matter how much we’re bent and broken our light still shines.  Aluta continue comrades!
“He that knows not,
    and knows not that he knows not
        is a fool, pupil or either is asleep.
In addition to knowing what we do want, we have the capacity to know what we don’t want. Knowing what we do not want is inborn.
“We know what we know. We know that there are things we do not know and we know that there are things we don’t know we don’t know.”
The first possibility is that of being unaware that you don’t know something. This is the “ignorance is bliss” state enjoyed by everyone who pontificates about politics in pubs. It is also the position of many people on “soft” occupations (such as teaching, or social work) which look from the outside as if “any fool could do it”. (Some do.) And it is engendered by consummate professionals who make what they do look easy (such as plasterers and chefs and popular novelists and. . .)
In my first English lesson, a young teacher recited a poem to us in English. It sounded great, but we couldn’t understand a word of it, of course.
He didn’t really need to do it, because we already knew we didn’t know any of it apart from a couple of phrases picked up from war films. He was trying to show what we might aspire to, and went on to explain that. (It must have made an impact because I can remember the lesson 35 years later.)
The statement, “You can do anything you put your mind to,” leads us to believe that all you must do is imagine what you’d like to accomplish, set your mind to the task, and wait for success.
To a certain degree this is true. Focused intention combined with action is a powerful force. But the statement is misleading because it fails to mention the difficulty and necessity of focusing your mind on a specific goal.
Most of us don’t know what we want. We think we do, but we really don’t. We only know what we don’t want. We don’t want a boring job. We don’t want to be poor. We don’t want to disappoint our loved ones.
Knowing specifically what you want is much different from knowing what you don’t want. When you only know what you don’t want, your intentions aren’t focused.
All of us receive messages from our bodies regularly about what serves our health and well being and what does not. Our bodies know immediately when we are doing something or even thinking about something that does not support us fully. One of my friends get diarrhea and stomach cramps when she just thinks about going to visit her parents.
She was abused, both physically and emotionally, throughout her entire childhood, and this abuse continued into adulthood. Her body knows that visiting her parents will not be good for her, and it gives her symptoms as messages to stay away. When she gives herself permission to stay away, her stomach problems go away immediately.
In order to create health daily, before illness ensues we need to pay attention to the subtle signals from our bodies about what feels good and what doesn’t. Foggy thinking, dizziness, heart palpitations, acne, headaches and back, stomach and pelvic pains are a few of the common but subtle symptoms that often signal that it is time for us to let go of what we don’t want in life.
 Negative emotions exist to let us know that we are facing the clearest path to what we want. Whenever you feel angry or upset, have a headache or a bodily symptom; take a moment to reflect upon what the symptom is trying to say to you. When I am caught in a downward spiral of negative feelings, I instantly know that I am out of touch with my inner guidance and that I give too much attention to what I don’t want.
I have learnt to notice when I’m feeling bad and stop for a moment. If I can catch myself at the beginning of the bad mood, I can often get  my energy flowing positively again, finally, I affirm that I have the power within me via my inner guidance and my power of intent, to get what I want.
Every smiling, laughing three month-old baby I’ve ever met reflects the true, joyous nature in which we were all born.
Ash Montagu once said that most adults are nothing more that ‘disintegrated children’. Fortunately, our inner guidance is always available to remind us of our direction towards fulfillment.
When we realign with our inner guidance and stop judging our bodies and our feelings as bad when they are offering us information, we are on the pathway to a life filled with growth and delight.
This is the point. If you want to be conventionally successful, to attain, health, wealth and status, you need to choose a specific path (preferably something mainstream) and follow it to the letter.
On the other hand, if you aren’t particularly concerned with wealth or success, you can take your time searching for that perfect niche.
Just don’t wait too long to decide. Each moment you deliberate, your already committed competitors sprint further ahead.
But, then again, maybe life isn’t a race, and maybe the most interesting people follow a path all their own. Do not chase people. Be you and do your own thing and work hard.