A day in the life of a sucker (reporter)



coming from the weekend, here I am on a Monday morning, again, thinking about what is really newsworthy from the junk I got in front of me.
Fighting the usual fight of what should be a news item and what shouldn’t. Goddamn it! I gotta make up my mind real quick before the dreaded diary sessions (now this part, I hate with a passion!). The newsroom could be a better place if it weren’t for diaries and if stupid editors were more understating beings when you are diary-less.  
I decided to write this today, because it’s something I hardly pen about but talk about incessantly with my mates, bosom pals, colleagues and kindred spirits. I was in the UK when Tony Blair tried to explain to News of the World what is newsworthy. He said it should be something known about nationally or one that has public relevance.
Should there be a national standard for defining newsworthy material, as opposed to a random happening that might be interesting - like politicians kissing babies in the time of elections? Local news is damn good; take the woman who tried burying her kid all by herself, for instance! That’s just how effed up this country is.
Some dailies’ news will always be comprised by things like car accidents, housebreaking with aggravating circumstances and SWAPO. Never things like politicians neglecting babies for kamborotos; it’s (apparently) not in the interest of the public. And why is it that no local newspaper would run a story about a male learner from Centaurus High School breaking the locker-room  record for masturbating with eyes open? Because it’s extremely difficult to please their corporate and political connects. Such kind of news stories don’t count, neither do the local morning television or radio shows, which are all packed out of hackneyed silliness.
But national news need to have some standards of coverage, which I argue it has abused beyond repair. Just think about it.
Media houses don’t like taxes and hate it when the Government spends money, even though they are all about crazy entitlements and good infrastructure. They have issues with what they all call ‘taxpayers’ money’; who the hell are these ‘taxpayers’, really? White people? Don’t politicians pay taxes?
Ok, let’s just be stupid like newspapers and assume they don’t. Government spending is bad but it sure does make good news material for all the newspapers, never dogs stuck together for hours after mating, no, having sex in public... Because it’s not in the interest of the public; which ‘pubic’ are you talking about? A public protest against the Government or any corporate organisation is definitely newsworthy (even if it is cringingly promoted by a major news organisation) and as a result, almost completely ignored by others. You know, like something out of the Struggle Kids would be close to an epitome! Let me leave it to you, the readers, to do the math.
I shall not dwell on trying to pinpoint situations that relate to what I’m writing about right now but I shall leave it to you to ponder on what is newsworthy and what’s not. I like to say I hate the newsroom but it is in this godforsaken place that I get a chance to speak to my innermost self, make sense of my innermost fears.
Godforsaken? Hell yeah, because, God left this place a long time ago. If you can quickly identify that I’m full of kakas, that’s because it’s true and you don’t need a college degree to do the same. Even if you don’t read my sh*t, I know you’ve heard about me because I’m all that your wife or girlfriend talks about.
Jeez, I love the fact that I only exist in newspapers and if you don’t read my sh*t, then you’re either completely bored with the concept of your own existence or just a plain dumb mother ha-ha.