I have listened to different people complain about pains they are not able to work on at ago. There’s a friend of mine who experiences a ‘back pain’, which she has noticed always emerges whenever she has to do something that she does not want to do. (This true in spite of the fact that she has a so-called ‘physical problem’ that should, by itself, explain her symptoms).
Currently, she is contemplating writing a research paper. Whenever she even thinks about writing this piece and the colleagues with whom she will be involved, she gets neck pains and feels sick to her stomach. All her training has taught her that publishing this research is what she should do for her career. Yet her inner guidance, which speaks to her through her body’s feelings, tells her something quite different. She knows that she must take the radical step to choose between her inner guidance and what society tells her is best, if she is to remain healthy.
This lady’s example shows that our bodies are designed to function best when we do things that feel exactly right to us. If we want to know God’s will for us, all we have to do is look to our gifts and talents to find it. Health is enhanced in people who engage in things that satisfy them. If we want to know what our gifts and talents are, we must think of our early childhood as of age seven and 11, before the modernity put us in a trance; what did you love to do? What did you want to be? What did you think you would be?
Another way to get in touch with our gifts and talents is to ask ourselves what we would do or be if we knew we had six months to live. Would we stay at our current jobs? Would we stay in a relationship with our current partners?
We are meant to move towards whatever gives us fulfillment, personal growth and freedom. We are born knowing that activities, things, thoughts and feeling are associated with these qualities. We must then learn to trust ourselves and know that we can naturally move towards that which is healing and fulfilling.
Many people have been taught that they cannot have what they want and that a life full of struggle is somehow honourable than one full of joy. We have also been taught to distrust something if it is too fulfilling or too much fun. This belief is reflected in our bodies.
An eminent hypnosis researcher once noted that negatives effects, like blisters, are twice as easy to induce as positive outcomes. Yet when we can clearly state what we want and why, we are instantly in alignment with our inner guidance. This is because it feels good in our bodies to think about and dwell upon what we want and why. We get excited, are inspired and are automatically incited by these thoughts and feelings, which in turn, keep us in touch with our inner knowledge and spiritual energy. The result is enthusiasm and joy.
Our culture has too often taught us that it is selfish to have our own wants and dreams and enjoy ourselves. Many people, when trying to be in touch with their inner powers, will often come across comments like; ‘Who do you think you are?’
Too many of us have heard things like; ‘Don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back,’ when we have done a job we’re proud of or have given ourselves credit for something that we love to do, just for us. All our lives, this kind of statement has stopped us dead in our cracks. We are accused of being selfish when we have given priority to our own lives and interests. So we have been brought up to avoid being perceived as selfish at all costs.
In general, women in our society have a difficult time going after what they personally want and need from an atmosphere in which it is assumed that they will perform and be responsible for all the tasks of daily life such as child-rearing, meal preparation and general nurturing. And even if child-rearing and housekeeping are precisely what a woman wants to do the most, she may find these activities to be undervalued and underpaying.
However, nothing will change in a woman’s outer circumstances until she learns to have value and nurture her own life and gifts as much as she has been taught to value others. As a friend of mine says, ‘If you want to be the one of choice, all you have to do is choose yourself!’ Remember, service to others done under obligation creates exhaustion and resentment.