Unam Sexmarks: Willing buyer, willing seller

Where is KK. I’m sure dude is now relishing his big I told you so moment. 

 

He nearly lost his job not so long ago because he called for the legalisation of the queens of the night. I personally thought it was a good idea. Think of all the tax that the Receiver of Revenue would have raked in from this booming industry. 

Good intention, smart dude. But good intentions seldom win and smart doesn’t make you cool. Some activists went to town with all that talk about moral degradation and Big KK was rendered a noisy vuvuzela. His big idea was reduced to a joke and that’s how that cookie crumbled.   

But I’m sure dude is having a ball right now, wherever he is. Because prostitution is now rearing its ugly head amongst the country’s supposed intellectuals. 

The scoops are out folks. Unam lecturers are having a go at your kids, while you and your wife are having endless debates about which side of the family your little one inherited the brains from. Turns out the kid might not even have brains after all. 

Word has it that students and lecturers at the university are running a mutually beneficial scheme that has resulted in a substantial increase in the number of graduates at the university minus the exam results. You know the transaction mos, a roll in the hay for a distinction at the end of the day. 

Not that big a problem at the moment it seems. It’s just another mutually beneficial deal so to speak. And the kids don’t seem to be complaining anyway. 

Only that now Abraham Iyambo, will be walking around with a headache that’s bigger than the one that Julius Malema’s ego is dishing out to Mshini Wami and his fellow comrades at the ANC. Who said teachers going awol and the Grade 10 drop outs are his biggest problem? Believe you me Abraham will need more than his camouflage to rectify this one. I mean, how does one promote graduates who are carrying their brains in their loins? 

No, let me tell you. Give them pink lip stick, pink high heels, shave off their eyebrows and give them a permanent post at the nearest street corner. Either that or we go the KK route and pimp them. Because having graduated at the Red Light District, I’m not seeing them knowing anything more than being masters at the Kamasutra. 

Be that as it may, all is not lost for the future of the university so it’s really not doom and gloom for those kids who are currently in high schools.  That’s where my latest business endeavour comes in - making chastity belts for Unam students. Yes Bra Abbes, that’s the only way in which we can guarantee that the credibility of our tertiary education system stays intact. We lock them up and we keep the keys safely stashed away. 

Not quite sure whom we can trust with all these keys because we’ve been watching the news and even the church is not safe enough a place for such keys. I certainly do not trust myself, but for the sake of an education that was build on 21 years of ideas and perseverance, this is one risk that’s worth taking.  So I’ll keep the keys.  Of course, I’ll face the wrath of the activists who will now go to town with talks of how the students are being deprived of their rights.  Truth is, I’m used to being hated on, so if its hatred you got then bring it on. But I won’t sit here and watch while our education system is being dragged through the mud. And while we’re at it I think we should now redefine the face of the local victim. Yes, some Namibian men are paedophiles and we’ve all seen the media reports. It could be the case that these rabbits are at it again abusing their powers and exchanging marks for sexual favours. But then again, it could also be that some lazy women who believe in shortcuts are bribing their way to their university degrees. Come on folks, wherever there is a buyer there must have been a seller. First things first, we stop playing the blame game and nip this situation in the bud. Order your child’s chastity belts now.