A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel. (NIV)
My wife and I have just recently celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary and we felt like spending some time eating out at a restaurant in town.
As we entered, we were welcomed with friendly and warm Namibian hospitality, taken to our seats and the waitress was ready to serve us. Then suddenly she was called by her supervisor or manager of the day.
While checking the menu, we heard some harsh words and a troublesome manager spoke with so much anger to this waitress. It was so loud that we felt for a second very uncomfortable in this establishment. We decided to stay and enjoy our dinner.
While we were making our way home after the great dinner we discussed the whole issue concerning anger, bitterness, and hot temperedness.
We discovered the danger of this evil and destructive spirit if you will, the bible says Ecclesiastes 7:9: Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry, for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. What a powerful revelation coming from the word of God, that anyone who becomes angry very fast, the Bible calls them fools. When we open our newspapers on a daily basis, we read about murder, rape, child abuse, women abuse and especially marital problems. These things have an enormous negative effect on our children and our communities.
I would like to give some significant guidance and insight on how we can eradicate these social evils from our community.
Firstly, I believe that we must change our behaviour and attitude. I am not generalising, but for most of us, we are very unhappy, and irritable, and paranoid. We are too ego-centric, self-centered and at times we lose the passion to really see the bright side of live. Most of us when we start our days, we simply do not think at times how we speak to our spouses, our children, our colleagues and work mates.
We get into arguments and disagreements so quickly before we know it; we are in a bad mood. We are frustrated and anger boils inside us. If this emotion is not dealt with properly and immediately, we find ourselves on the wrong side of the law.
The Bible says Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.”
I read a write-up from a magazine recently concerning anger and the writer said, “Anger is a normal emotion with a wide range of intensity; from mild irritation and frustration to rage. It is a reaction to a perceived threat to us, our loved ones, our property, our self-image, or some part of our identity. Anger is a warning bell that tells us that something is wrong"
Secondly, we as a people must realise that we need help in this area of anger. Too many of us suffer from inferiority complex. We carry baggage from our past and we simply think that it will go away by itself. This is not something that will automatically disappear.
Frankly speaking, this is the number problem in relationships. Why do we have so many couples young and old divorcing in our nation? Why do we have so many suicidal issues? Why do we have so many people suffering from depression? The answer is Anger, the Bible says in Ephesians 4:31. ‘Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.’
Finally, why are many of us really angry? Sometimes, we do not even know why we have this emotion running through our hearts and lives. I firmly believe that we are not loved or we seldom give love. Talking about love I am not referring to sex. This is not only love because you can sleep with somebody without loving them.
Real love is caring, supporting, maintaining, giving, genuine, understanding and ensuring that it comes from a pure heart, and a clean motive.
The Greeks gives us four kinds of love languages, Storge, Phileo, Eros, and Agape. "Storge" love is an emotion we have towards family, brothers and sisters, meaning love for the family, while "Phileo" love refers to love emotions for your friends; "Eros" love refers to love emotions for a married couple, finally "Agape" love means love of God. The Bible say, Romans 5:8..But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us, and Galatians 5:22..But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.