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TIA, balls donÔÇÖt count


by Chris-Paul
Columns

 

 

This is Africa, balls don’t count here. That is my message to all of you wanna-be rappers and all you hip-hop heads. All up in the mall with your colourful sneakers and skinny jeans. Even worse, queuing up for ice cream with girls at Milky Lane in Wernhil Park.
They wear skinny jeans to show off the sizes of their nuts and I tell you what mate, this is Africa, the size of your balls doesn’t count. You can have balls the size of a soccer ball in your pants, but I can guarantee you’ll not get anywhere.
In Africa, a man is judged by the size of his manhood, minus the balls. It is also a fact; the larger the penis, the lesser sex you are bound to have. I don’t know why but it’s true. Take for instance, the two largest populations in the world; Chinese and Indians, they are known to have the smallest of ‘objects’.
The theory argues that this is probably because guys with big ‘objects’ are too relaxed. They don’t go the extra mile in order to satisfy a woman. They are like, “So what? I got a big d**k!” So women go for the smaller ones because they strive to put in an extra effort to satisfy them.
Despite this fact, a man in Africa is judged by the size, not his performance or his balls. You can have your big balls bulging out of your pants, but as long as you got a small tool, buddy, you are nothing. When people say size doesn’t matter, they are actually referring to the balls size, not the Mandingo. So think again before you go gallivanting in town with your nuts in your hands, it’s as simple as that.